A long week

It was 6 days ago that Eric and I packed up and went to the hospital. He had his tonsills out and it has been a long week. He needed them out because they were HUGE!! He was having a hard time breathing and has recently started getting strep throat easily. I was told it would be a 1-2 week recovery. It is looking like it will be closer to 2 weeks for Eric. The codeine is not lasting as long as it should and he is frequently in pain. But I can see that things are getting better. He was able to play outside this weekend and he needs less medication during the day. I just hate seeing him in pain like this. I know that it is for the best for him, but in the here and now, it sucks. I can tell a difference in his breathing and his voice already. They say that once the swelling goes down in 2 weeks, he will be like a new kid. I cant wait to see him better and these 2 weeks cant come fast enough. I hate seeing him in pain, just holding his mouth and crying, knowing that there is nothing I can do. As a nurse, I want to give him something to ease the pain. As a mom, I want to take the pain away from him and give it to me, so that I dont have to have my baby suffer. There is no words of frustration that I can use that can explain the look in his eyes when he just looks at you and is silently begging you to make him better. Eric has had more than his fair share of illnesses, but I think now that he is older it is harder on me. When he was a baby I could use my nursing skills to give medication, give him nebulizer treatments, listen to his lungs and then like magic, he would be better. This time, because it was surgery it is harder because I cant do anything except count down the days with him until he should feel better. I am seeing improvements each day, but it is never fast enough when it is your little guy lying there.
I do have to add that Emily has been a huge help. She knows when to help Eric and when to put herself second, when I have to deal with just him. She is wise beyond her years and has a maternal instinct that some people never develop. I tell her all the time that she is the best big sister that anyone could have, and I truely mean that. Not only is Eric lucky to have her as a big sister, Dan and I are so blessed to have her as a wonderful daughter and an amazing helper.
I knew my whole life that I wanted to be a mom and a nurse. I just never imagined just how much these rolls would be combined into one. Im so glad to be both, even if there are many thankless moments, painful moments, and joyful moments.